Living with social phobia isn’t about being shy or temporarily stressed; it’s something much deeper. It’s a constant presence. It shapes how I experience the world from the moment I wake up to the time I go to bed. Like many others who suffer from social anxiety, I find it hard to explain to people. It’s not a passing feeling. It’s a part of me.
My Friend’s Experience with Anxiety
I have a friend who suffers from general anxiety disorder. He once shared something with me that completely changed my perspective. He told me how much he hates when people say he’s “stressed.” He isn’t stressed, not in the way people think. Stress implies there’s a problem to solve, something that can go away after the issue passes. But for him, anxiety is a constant state, something he wakes up with every day. Being told he’s stressed feels almost insulting. It feels like they’re saying he is the problem. In reality, that’s just who he is.
When he explained it to me that way, it made so much sense. I realised this is how social phobia feels for me too. People often misunderstand it. They think it’s just a case of being shy. They believe it requires more exposure to social situations. However, the reality is much deeper. It’s not stress. It’s me.
Social Phobia: A Daily Battle
Every day, social phobia colours the way I live. Simple tasks, like making a phone call or speaking to someone new, feel like monumental hurdles. I can’t just “get over it,” because it’s not something that goes away with time or exposure. Each interaction carries with it the fear of being judged. It also brings the fear of saying the wrong thing. There is also the fear of being perceived in a way I can’t control.
Many people with social anxiety might face these fears in specific situations. Social phobia affects me in nearly every interaction. Avoidance becomes a way of life. I often find myself retreating into isolation because the fear of social situations is overwhelming. But avoiding social interactions only deepens the anxiety, reinforcing the belief that I can’t handle them.
The Emotional Toll of Being Misunderstood
Just like my friend, being misunderstood can be one of the hardest parts of living with social anxiety. People often think you just need to relax, breathe, or stop worrying so much. But it’s not that simple. When someone tells me, “You’ll feel better once you get out there,” it feels dismissive. It’s as though they’re saying, “You’re not trying hard enough.” The truth is, living with social phobia takes incredible effort, just to get through the day.
Social anxiety isn’t something you switch off when you step away from a stressful situation. It follows you, shadows you, and often makes you feel isolated, even in a room full of people. When you’re told to “just be confident,” it feels like being told to be someone you’re not.
How I Cope with Social Phobia
Despite the difficulty, I’ve found small ways to cope over the years. One of the things that helps me is accepting that social anxiety is a part of who I am. It’s not something I need to “fix.” It is something I can learn to live with. I also find comfort in knowing there are many others who share these feelings. My friend, who has general anxiety disorder, feels the same way.
I’ve tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which is often recommended for social anxiety. While it’s helpful for many, it wasn’t the perfect fit for me. Each person’s journey is different, and finding what works for me has been part of my healing process.
Building Silent Strength: My Path Forward
This is why I started Silent Strength. I want to create a community where people like me, people who live with severe social anxiety, can find support. Right now, we’re raising funds to build the foundation of this charity. We aim to offer therapy and financial help to others struggling with social anxiety. We’re in the beginning stages, and it’s a long road ahead, but I believe we can make a difference.
Support us by visiting our GoFundMe page: GoFundMe for Silent Strength.
Living with social phobia is not just about avoiding stressful situations; it’s a part of who I am. I’ve learned that understanding this condition is key to living with it. I hope to help others do the same. To everyone who’s ever felt misunderstood or judged for their anxiety, you are not alone.
Silent Strength 